Keeping the Spark Alive in Your Relationship

Let’s face it - passion is felt at the beginning of a relationship and it's not possible to keep the “spark” alive once you become "comfortable.”  HA!  Do not believe that for a minute!

The definition of spark: to kindle, animate, or stimulate (interest, activity, spirit).  It's that amazing feeling of electricity that flows through your body when you see the person you feel passionate about!  You may  describe it as butterflies in your stomach, or the nervousness you feel around them, or the feeling of your heart beating faster.   The beauty of a spark is you can feel it at 16, 40 and even 70 years old.

For most people, when real life sets in -  marriage, a mortgage, kids, career- feelings gradually dim, and may even disappear when you are in a long-term relationship.    There are so many other things that are important, relationships get put on the back burner.  However, that can be turned around as you find ways to recreate the spark.  Here are four tips to bring life and passion back into your relationship, which, by the way, the side effect is that it brings passion back to your entire life as well, its a win/win!


Make a list of things you and your partner loved to in in the early days of your relationship. Given the fast-paced and busy nature of your lives, you might have stopped doing some of those things. Whether it's walking through your city or around water, preparing fancy meals together, bike ridding, re-engaging or finding new things to do that you have not done before, like pottery, a marathon together, ballroom dancing - salsa, etc. will bring life and passion back to your relationship.  Dancing can bring lots of laughter (if you don’t take it too seriously).  You are so close - face to face that you cannot help feeling a spark.  I know this through my own experience.  My husband was not on board at first - but after we tried it one time, we laughed so hard at each other that it became a stress releaser and began going regularly!   So doing things you used to do, and finding new things to do will definitely help to keep the spark alive, and create new sparks.  Don't get lost in excuses, try it - you’ll love it!  Make a date 2x month (or your agreed upon time) so that you have a constant stream of dates to look forward to. 


Believe it or not there are flower remedies that really help your energy around relationships.  For instance, with my clients that want one on one consultations for their relationship - I will create a personalized blend that contains:

  • Bush Gardenia from Australian Bush Flower Remedies (ABFE) is great to help relationships that are becoming or have become stale. It helps to renew passion and interest in it, deepening emotions, promotes eye contact, holding hands, etc.
  • Balsam from Findhorn Flower Remedies (F) to be able to emanate warmth and intimacy and tenderness. To be able to express your feelings and feel good in your beautiful body that is housing your soul.
  • Gorse (F) - gorgeous remedy that helps to fully engage with life, to uplift your heart and mind. To feel joy. 

There are also remedies to help relieve resentments which can really affect a relationship and more.  If you are feeling joyless (which happens to many as we get older, call me for a consultation. This is typical for older women, especially around and post menopause.)

You can feel free to try these safe, powerful and all natural plant extracts to bring you back to your sexy self or look at my romance products, sprays that have already been prepared for you.  We have coupled flower remedies with essential oils to double the power and punch of bringing you back to your sexy self!  Take a look at this range of natural body sprays.  One of my favorites in the romance line is sensual self.  Take a look!


 You know that communication is key.  But you also know honestly that you cannot just randomly, out of nowhere, begin communicating what is not working for you anymore or what you want without your partner feeling like it’s coming from nowhere, no matter how nicely you may share.  When you have indulged in numbers 1 and 2 above and you find yourself becoming closer again, you will find it much easier to communicate, and to actually be heard especially because at this point you are going to want to give and get what will make your relationship better.  You have already started the ball rolling.  You begin to feel the excitement about being together again, why you are together in the first place.  It may mean renegotiating future plans, present conditions, opportunities that you felt different about years ago, challenges you have now and how to work them out, renegotiating past agreements (see #5).  Effective communication involves sharing a deep, emotional connection which comes with a renewed spark in your relationship.


Learning your loved one's love language and understanding your own.  See the book “The 5 Love Languages,” or take their quiz on the site to learn your love language.  It will really open your eyes to your partners wants and needs and brings new insight into your relationship.  It can actually be a date night and it’s a fun thing to do!


The agreements you may have made when you first got married - they change.  What you agreed on in your first years of marriage may have to be adjusted.  It happens all the time.  And as we get older, gain more wisdom, you may not want to keep things the same, the same agreements.  Things change, situations change, and you have to be able to change with them.  Renegotiate what is not working for your relationship and household.  It can be something having to do with career, if you have family - changing something up that you originally did not want too.  Whatever it is, know marriage/partnership is about being able to renegotiate terms or prior agreements and coming to a compromise together.  This is huge.  You cannot live in old agreements. You have to be able to change plans because you grow with wisdom and life just changes from experience, need and age.


Keep in mind that your relationship is in your hands.  And although it “takes two to tango” one person has to initiate the change.  It’s up to you (if you want to create change) to decide to keep the spark alive and create the change that is wanted around it. relationship.  Someone has to make the first move, and ultimately - creating change around the life you are living now - this is what simply keeps the spark alive.